Tragic Chemistry

Background Info*

I wrote this during a time when I was in the emergency room a lot and was overwhelmed by the dynamic that develops between ER docs and their patients. There is a distance that must be maintained to stay sane, but you’re constantly affected by the grief of people whose time is almost up. I couldn't stop putting myself in the patient's position until realized that I didn’t have to: the truth was it would be mine soon enough. It made me start feeling very lucky to have my health and made life feel very poignant. The title is a double entendre, with ‘fall’ referring both to the later seasons of life and to the imminent collapse that comes at the end, both physical and mental. The verse imagery surrounds one of these ER encounters, in an elderly patient with a failing heart: cold, fluorescent ER lights, etc. A “water hammer pulse” is a physical exam finding that accompanies a particular heart condition, this image also obviously carries a double meaning. The most esoteric imagery surrounds the chorus: I was imagining standing over a city and doing one of those photographic time-lapse montages of highways where the cars disappear into a blur of light and color...life feels like this not infrequently to me, as we live and bleed and ultimately become a tiny part of the world’s history. Musically, I just want it to feel urgent: like the clock is ticking. I think a lot of that urgency will come from you rhythm section guys. Leia and I will just try to sing good.

Technical Notes

After budget constraints kept the band from hiring an actual string section, Tom Capek’s string arrangement was performed by Capek himself using several highly sophisticated string samples, requiring multiple passes per instrument to perform. For each of the individual instruments (2 cellos, 2 violins), Capek would first perform the part dry to achieve the right feel and timing and then would modify each part by controlling the pitch, note swells, vibrato, etc. on separate takes.

The feedback swell that precedes the line, "not just for thee but for me" is Manuel hitting a piano chord and Jorgenson manipulating the recorded signal in real-time with a Vox Time Machine delay pedal.

Lyrics

fluorescent lights
illuminate the scene
as you are introduced to fate
i run my hand
through the cascading sand
of an hourglass
that’s hour is about to pass

shoot the boulevard
lights bleed into a stream
the shutter captures all
my summer, your fall

the water hammer drops
on your broken heart
you pine for a new start
as i take off my gloves
and cinch up my laces
you disappear
into a smear of a hundred other faces
still i know for whom the bell tolls
not just for thee
but for me

the heat of summer
fever takes my mind
now it’s autumn
wind on wrinkling skin unkind
blizzard in winter
frostbit limbs left behind
here come the spring rains
to rinse away the rind